a collection of work by 1st and 2nd semester sophomores
overall, I enjoy your ambition with trying to get lots of information into these three panels, but the narrative gets lost (especially in the last one) because of the amount of elements. i think it might be more successful to focus on two or three of the most important things at the end. the first panel is definitely my favorite, because i can see how color is really going to add depth and bring the composition together.
I like that this has some strong, impression making visuals. And you have some cool transitions in there like the twin towers smoke to GWB. But they also kind of chop your images into a buch of little pieces, and make it sort of unpleasing to read. However, I'm sure that with color added to the equation things will become more cohesive. Your Triptych reminds me of a movie trailer for one of those movies that isn't going to come out for another year or two, but they still show the trailer anyways. It's one of those trailers that you cant really understand what is going on, but you get the gist of it from just a couple of seconds of hardcore watching. In your piece i understand that Its about the Iraq war beacause i see the angry politicians, and Bin Laden, and the middle eastern architecture, and the guns blahablah. However, i don't understand the story you are trying to tell to much. It starts strong, but i don't get the "end". It is my favorite section though. I think its very well drawn.
I like the way it is drawn but think it may be a little overly ambitious. There is too much going on in the panels. I think you tell the story with less information.
I'm not entirely sure what your narrative is and the images that you have down are very separated on the page, almost as though they are meant to be in comic book form with their own individual boxes. Mabye if you tried tying the images together on the page more it would read better.
I don't follow politics at all, so some of the information isn't making sense to me (but I guess that's my own fault). I think that the people above me said is true about there perhaps being too many elements in each piece. I don't think the last one fits in aesthetically compared to the other two, as it seems to depict a scene while the others are more comic-book style. Also, I kind of wish there were more values in some of the figures.Other than that I think the drawing is well done. I think it's great that you have such passion behind this, from what you've said when you talked to me about it.
I'm going to go ahead and suggest the opposite of what others are saying so far and suggest you just go all out and crowd the shit out of each of your panels with as much imagery as you can think of. there is no way to make a concise, linear narrative on your subject matter without way way way over simplifying. I think you should go in the other direction and make it really complex and confusing. Either way, I agree that you are in an awkward in between point right now. your ambition is admirable though.
I think this is a difficult subject to try to illustrate, since it does have so many elements to it. Right now, I feel like there are too many things trying to be fit into one frame (especially the bottom frame). It's getting choppy, and not flowing as smoothly as it could. I'd be careful with the floating bodies when you go into color, I feel like the transition between the forms and the rest of the image might make or break it, because floating busts can be difficult to make flow with a picture. I can understand the narrative, though I am a little confused as well, maybe try to limit your information? The color will definitely be important, especially since you have some large areas of space with less action (like the desert).
im agreeing with alex on this one i think you should go "balls to the walls" in one direction or the other. i also think color will be complicated to apply but could help in the separation of each symbol of each piece.also if this is the war on terrorism or the war in afganistan you should include a little more evident 911
I like the fact that there is a lot going on and a lot to engage you, but am a bit confused about the exact story line. The beginning, middle and end seem a bit fuzzy. Clear up the story a bit and i think its gold.
theres a lot of things going on in two of your images, but i think that the image with the car driving down the road could be more detailed or eventful. I enjoy the concept though.
i know Dana told us not to post anything but some people already have an for future posters ill just explain some thingsfor some background info i was gonna make all the characters cartoony and more like political cartoons but i decided id rather go in a serious direction than a humorous one, especially for the content. i mostly just wanted to make it cartoonish so i could dehumanize dick cheney as much as possible but it would be wrong to leave everyone else as realistic characters. anyway-The first panel is a global view of the U.S. east coast at an angel. It has Bush giving the state of the union address( axis of evil speech). Osama bin laden looks over from the darkness. there is Colin powell below him holding the chemical vial from his infamous U.N. security council meeting. Donald rumsfeld stares menacingly at Iraq from below the pentagon.the middle panel is iraq. The architecture i used is based on the golden dome that was destroyed during the iraq war, which was a horrible sign of the progress of the war. oil fields are in the background. dick cheney is in the background grinning above abu gharaib (i need to work on his face). then there's a fight going on between insurgents and u.s. soldiers of course in the fron of the imagelast panel is the troops being transferred to Afghanistan. its supposed to be storm clouds above the mountains ill have to make them more convincing in the final. Obama (who i need ot draw better) looks sternly over his troops (the humvees)
oh yeah if you could call it a story, its the war on terror
i don't think the floating images are working. they don't really say much for the narrative and it breaks the composition into pieces. The line work is soild but you could use a little more volume.
My first thoughts when looking at the floating Dick Cheney(?) piece was that i really enjoyed the simplistic landscape, and immediately caught that your story was going to be the war on terror. I was however questioning why Cheney had to be this weird god-like figure floating in the sky.The second image seemed to clear this problem up with the new politic becoming a part of the desert sand dunes.The third piece completely lost me, there were too many unrecognizable faces floating around and not enough clarification of the landscape. The great part of this third piece however is the Osama head.I think that your sketches are fairly spare, and it definitely hurts the communication of your story in the third panel. If you take a little more time to clarify the landscapes and really develop the political figures' faces, i think the message will be better communicated and really make this a successful piece.
I feel like you really bit off on more than you could chew in these pieces. There are great moments in these pieces, I definitely recognize some of the political figures and imagery and it comes across in your style but the elements aren't really forming together and 'transforming' into cohesive pieces. They almost feel more like studies for the project, try variation with size more in the composition as well, there are too many floating little figures, making it hard to gather what's going on.
There's definitely a lot to read through in this triptych. Politics is already complicated as it is, so simplifying things can be difficult. I'm not really sure how I would illustrate this piece if I was given this topic. In any case, keep what you got so far, but as some few people have stated, go crazy on it. Bombard it with chaos... let your lines come out and just try to thematically put every thing you can think of that will work with this subject matter.