a collection of work by 1st and 2nd semester sophomores
These illustrations stand very strong on there own, I think they work great as individual pieces. But the last one is a little unclear in the narrative, I've seen the little mermaid many times, but i still cant really figure out what is going on.so maybe rework that one a bit I'm not sure if those are bubbles or not in the last one. If they are i would get references and pay more attention to how they are rendered. Right now they are reading as little solid spheres.
Thank you! I will work on the bubbles. But it's not the Disney version of The Little Mermaid, it's Hans Christian Andersen's, so if you're not familiar with the original story then the last one probably wouldn't make that much sense.
I agree with Mohamed about changing the bubbles. I'd definitely suggest making them bigger, if anything it'll make them a lot easier to render using a wet media! Use a protractor to help make them perfect spheres, it'll help a lot with their readability! Otherwise, that first panel especially looks great. There is a lot of depth and shadow, and you get a good sense of the space she occupies.
I like the composition on the first one the most because you've created depth with the plant that leads the eye to the background. The second one, I'm not sure how I feel about it. I can't tell if it bothers me or not where you have chosen to crop it. I think what might make it more interesting is if the feet were on different planes, so that it wasn't so symmetrical? I definitely agree about the last one, even with reference to the Andersen's version of the story I am having trouble seeing what is happening. The bubbles seem more like marbles right now.
its nice that in the thrd panel, her hair is floating up. it gives the impression that she just jumpd back in the water before she transformed back, which would explain the bubbles. yeah i think the lines around bubbles should be pretty thin, with maybe a tiny thin circle inside of it at an angle. the middle panel is well drawn, but i want to see how she gets her legs if thats possible
These are really interesting. what are you using as your final medium? just a suggestion, i think incorperated some use of color they would be really strong. I read that this is based on the Han's Christian Anderson little mermaid but unless the person knows that particular version of it then this ending might not make sense to them. But other then that, this is really good.
The last panel really throws me off. I read a summary of Anderson's version, but I'm still not sure. All the panels stand well on their own and I really like the first panel. It really feels like she's underwater.
i think i kno the story based on my childhood view (like everyday) of the little mermaid stories. im not sure on my feelings of just the legs. i feel like it would be good as far as a transformation triptych but as the story stands we might want to consider having the hole figure so we know it is here legs. i do like how you have a looking up perspective on her in the last panel, you may want to take that a little more extream, but just a thought.
one one more to the "I can't tell what's going on" pile. you really need a reference for those legs and feet, since they are so central. they are basically the only this in that panel. they need to be drawn better/more correctly.I think the bottom one is the start of a nice composition. all the space at the top really gives a sense of sinking.
Reading the other post i feel i've little to contribute. The drawings are looking good for the most part. I could use a bit more value, where is the blackest black opposed to the whitest white? Ask your self that?Also the narrative is a bit confusing. I can't tell if she is getting legs or if she is drowning thinking about being a mermaid. I like the last panel best. The over the shoulder perspective is working well for a sense of loss.
if you didnt know the story of the little mermaid, than it would be hard to understand. the last slide is kind of difficult to read too.
Thank you to those people who gave me tips for improvement. I did use a reference for the legs and feet, but I guess my drawing skills in the anatomy department aren't good enough to show that. I'll try and find another way to present them. In the last panel she's supposed to be drowning. I was hoping to convey a sense of defeat and hopelessness without having to be so literal.If anybody has any ideas on how to make the last two panels clearer, I'm all ears.
Flat out, the compositional and narrative elements present in the first panel need to be shared with the other two. The first image communicates a very descriptive representation of her underwater space and does a really good job in showing her desire to leave.The other two panels however possess too ambiguous of narrative descriptions. include some more elements of her surroundings in the negative space and i think this will be cleared up.
Good story! I would somehow change the second panel though. The legs look a bit too much on the muscular side for me unless I got the gender wrong. I like the back view on the last panel. But maybe pull back the image a bit so we see a bit more of the body?
I like the compositions a lot. There's a nice sense of variation between the three and I think these are definitely stronger drawings than your past assignments so good job there.The planted feet are effective in showing she's on land but I really wish I could see more of her, the other two are much more about the mermaid, the middle one is depersonalizing to her I think. As for the last one, I think i good way to show her drowning would definitely be to show her face and turn her around, and really portray a sense of terror in her eyes, gape her mouth open, and then I think the bubbles would definitely add a lot more. It's on it's way though!
Work on those legs, the shadows arent that intense and it'll help if you're having trouble drawing them to put less emphasis on that area, know what im sayinnn? I agree with the first comment about them working well as their own pieces. compositions are pretty strong. Color will amp these up a lot too