a collection of work by 1st and 2nd semester sophomores
Hey Brandon i'll be frank- Im having a hard time figuring out what exactly is supposed to be black/white. Less hatch marks, more consistent shapes. Im sure you have a perfect understanding of what all is goin' down but I can't even tell that you changed anything from the sketch. That aside, the concept still holds up well. Id like to see more lively detail. things like street lamps, mailboxes, cars (or some zilla equivalent?), signs, etc. Things like that just to make it more of an environment. Also the perspective on the right building needs a tune up .
i was going to talk about how i think you need more black in this image, but i think with the shadows you'll be ok. the thing that i think is pulling this image down is the genericism of the environment when like human tokyo is sooooo interesting-looking. Maybe try to find a reference picture on google images and use that as a basis to create a rich environment that will convince everyone it's a zilla version of tokyolike http://mississippimudgal.com/Japan/IMG_1298Alley_in_Tokyo.JPGhttp://farm1.static.flickr.com/26/52434858_1288917995_o.jpghttp://copper.chem.ucla.edu/~kulisics/images/foreign/tokyo/2006/imgp1419.jpghttp://www.twip.org/photo/asia/japan/photo-5464-28-03-06-19-26-27.jpgthink like taiyo matsumoto whose images are like really detailed but still function with a lot of white space
I think this is a pretty cool piece i just hope you make more darks and shadows in your final.
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oops didn't mean to delete that...yea at first I was thinking it needed more black, but I think it's just that there's not enough contrast in the sketch to really see what is black/white. It still looks very greyscale. And adding more specifics to the background would prevent it from seeming bland..the building on the left is what seems really uninteresting because it takes up so much space in the composition and there's nothing really distinguishing about it.
I get what you're going for with the story and whatnot. Ironic and funny, its nice, but i don't see how this is a final sketch. there needs to be some suggestion of shape, contrast, light, etc etc etc. i think the scan's washed out most of your value. but that wouldn't have happened in the first place had a little bit more time been spent emboldening the darks.
I think, at least for this assignment, you could work on making it more graphic and/or simple, like making the sky and the windows black, or just condensing it into more graphic elements so that the focus is on the action (which is great, by the way).
I am having a hard time imagining this in a graphic black and white but it looks like an interesting piece. The scene is coming across clearly.