Tuesday, February 9, 2010

by: Sarah Slowinski

19 comments:

  1. I like this very much I just think that the ghost need to stand out more. I didn't notice him at first and he is the main part of this piece. maybe thickening his outline, or just making him completely white would work better

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  2. I agree that the ghost should stand out a little more. You could try just not connecting the background's lines inside of him? Like, adding anothing white outline instead of his black outline. Other than that, I really like this piece!

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  3. I also agree with emphasizing more on the ghost to make it stands out.
    I think it's ok to make ghost as white form because it's missing shadow shows that it's a ghost. But I really like the landscape. It's very clear!

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  4. The ghost is apparent but maybe you could have it be even more noticeable if you removed or changed the way that the road dividing paint cuts into the ghost. Overall though, I think it is working well.

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  5. I think a large shadow on the left hand side of the page (on the hill behind the fence) would make sense with the light and also balance the piece nicely as long as you don't make the entire hill black. I'm definitely with Jee-Shaun as far as the ghost/road interaction is concerned. Maybe just make the little dude more opaque? His shape reads as ghost even if he isn't translucent.

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  6. I think it really cute! You really distinguish between positive and negative forms well. But I wish to make the ghost just pure white form to stand out. Also it would be better if you put road textures like your first assignment.

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  7. I really like this. I agree with how the road intersects the ghost, it could work better if it was shifted a little and maybe the ghost had a heavier outline. Either way its looking really good.

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  8. Composition is dynamic and the way you defined the landscape is very clear even though there are a lot of different elements to define. I do agree that the ghost gets lost somewhat and as that is the main punch line in this piece to connect it with the prompt I think you need to define it better.

    also are the two stripes on the road meant to be double yellow lines for lanes? If so I think they might work better black and at the same time help define the ghost better.

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  9. i think this piece overall is really great, i like where all the positive and negative shapes rest, it shows off the nice composition. maybe some line variation on the ghost would bring him out.

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  10. The positive and negative shapes are really well done in this piece, I think it's one of the best I've seen so far. The only thing I have a problem with is the ghost, since he's sort of hard to see with such a thin line.

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  11. It's so cute! and the lights and darks are really well done. Only thing is that i didn't notice the ghost at first so maybe think about giving it a little more shape around the edges.

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  12. I love the drawing. I love the composition and concept. My one issue is to make the ghost stand out more.

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  13. So yeah everyone thinks you should push the ghost out more and I agree it does need a bit more, maybe lessen the lines around where it is and upp the lines of the actual ghost? Good job other wise

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  14. I wouldn't change anything. You did a really great job. Everything reads really clear, even the ghost.

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  15. this is awesome. I love your use of positive and negative space and i think there is a very good movement that is created by the fence moving back in space. The only suggestion i have is to put more emphasis on the ghost. It took me a couple seconds just to figure out it was there. maybe just thicker lines? im not sure

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  16. I love the interesting curve of the landscape, and how it helps to frame the scene. Having the ghost transparent was a nice idea, but for the sake of a black and white piece I would say it almost has to be white. Also, judging by the light direction, the window frames on the side of the side of the house could be removed entirely, but that might make it fade too much into the mountain range.

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  17. You've really created your own world here. The bendy house and geometric mountains and windy, windy road all make the children that much more innocent.

    Sadly, I think that ghost might just have to be white for the sake of inks. If you were to use some grays, I'd love to see a transparent ghost, but it gets a little lost as it is.

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  18. Sarah-- totally agree with the unanimous feedback you've gotten. im not sure the ghost needs a face either. thicken his lines a little. MAYBE the girl on the right's head could be a little less black-- that was the only part my eye got stuck on (in a bad way). More hair "texture", less solid flat black. Not crazy texture-- just more like the one of the left.
    Great job. *Dana

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  19. This is great, the use of black and white shapes and space are all treated really well! The suggestions to break up the black shapes inside the ghost's outline are very good, go with that!

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