Added note: I didn't fully black out the background. But it would be all black, since this was a sketch I just did the crosshatch to tell where it would be.
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a collection of work by 1st and 2nd semester sophomores
A horizon line would be great also legs. I like the jabba vibe but he looks like an amputee. Maybe add some skinny stunted legs dangling out the other side? Also, i am sad to see the little girl edited out of the original sketch (it made it more narrative and depressing) and I would like to see more darks used in the man and the pool, you still seem to be relying heavily on line.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you need a horizon line, maybe just some lines delineating grass infront of the pool would be fine. And you might not want to so heavily rely on lines. Try blacking out the whole pool and giving it white designs.
ReplyDeleteI actually think you could really make this work by making the entire background a flat black and working from black and laying the rest of the shapes down in white.
ReplyDeleteThis is a really gross man.
I think legs would be a good idea, and i agree the piece could improve if there were more areas that were blacked out instead of using lines. Grass as a horizon line would probably bring the piece together better also.
ReplyDeleteThis is eccentric and fun illustration. But I also agree with Chelsea that I miss the girl from your original sketch. If you are still going for this direction, it would be better to put clear definition between the man and the background. The background now is kind of fuzzy.
ReplyDeleteI agree that the piece was stronger with legs sticking out of the pool, and I enjoyed the girl. I think if you added legs the piece would work fine without also adding the girl. I think you could also add some sort of background or horizon to define the space better.
ReplyDeleteI like the character a lot but I think you could add some more black within him, even filling in the stars and moons on the tub.
It works well for the prompt and I think with just a little tweaking it would be really strong.
I think you, too, are relying a little heavily on the lines. Try blocking some shapes out, maybe shadows, on the man's body. Maybe the jellies and the fish on the pool could be blacked out, too. Concept rocks, though, and I like the hose, it's nice element that you've added.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure how I would feel about the whole background as black. Maybe some object in the background, a house, or lawn, or fence, something to provide location context. I'd also think about ways shapes could be used to show shadows on the figure.
ReplyDeleteI like the shape of the man and the tub but I wonder if you will just do line works on them. I wish that you would push the negative and positive spaces on them.
ReplyDeleteLove the concept of it!
i think you need to think about the light more and how it would hit this particular dude's face and have more fun with it, because hes looking more like a flat line drawing. your man is disappearing into the ground, he needs some legs. you should think about how he would really sit in a little kiddy pool and draw the kiddy pool to fit him. i think if you showed some of the water and exagerated the perspective you could have a lot more fun with reflections in the water and stuff. i really like your idea so naturally i want to see more from it.
ReplyDeleteI like this, but maybe mess with line thickness more on the man and the pool to add some more dimension.
ReplyDeleteHawt, just kidding but really nice job, the only thing I would tweak is the tub/kitty pool, make it look like he is really sitting there and putting pressure on it
ReplyDeleteGreat idea. I like how now we're the little girl. I think all you need to do is thin about lighting and then you won't have to rely on the lines. I think the water hose needs more room on the bottom. It feels too squished in. Maybe you could even use it in the background and have it going crazy.
ReplyDeleteit would be nice to see some different tones and dark spaces in the actual figures. Right now its looking more like a contour line drawing with a black background. This has potential to be very successful but i think you need to put a little more work into it.
ReplyDeleteLegs jutting out at awkward angles would definitely help this make more like he's sitting and less like he's turning into a kiddy-pool...truly a terrible fate. The idea is hilarious though.
ReplyDeleteHe's making sexy eyes at me! Why on earth is he making sexy eyes at me?!
ReplyDeleteThis drawing is that crucial. That guy is totally working the kiddy-pool. Where are his legs? I don't know, and I don't care, because it's awesome.
Aw, Deming! What happened to the original image? Its SO much more interesting as a narrative and the composition was much better. The guy is creepy, yes, but this narrative is thin and the composition isnt really as interesting as it could be (as it Was!). I'd go back to the original image and work it over in this style. Now that you have some other people's to look at, maybe you'll get a sense of how to make the adjustments without losing the image itself. You can do it! *dana
ReplyDeleteI did love that original sketch of yours, no lie! I think you were still messing around with composition? We might be more intimidated by this guy if you used some weird perspective, and put his feet in our faces. But I think that the little girl in the image, to contrast him, already did the job! Think more blocky and less linear. This image is essentially a line drawing with a black background. Break out of that! Make his eyes into blotches instead of defined areas, turn that pattern on the pool into solid shapes.
ReplyDelete