If I understand the assignment correctly, I think you may be relying too heavily on the lines for this piece. Did you happen to do this in pencil first? I think it would help if you planned it out first in pencil (with the black and white positive/negative shapes) if you haven't yet, because it looks like you went straight to ink from the original sketch.
The idea is really humorous. I think you manipulated the shadows in the back really well. The light coming from window and shadows on the girl and the bed make sense. But I wish you could put more black shadow on the monster with details since it is the very front.
I agree with Smangirl(?). Maybe you could blacken out the whole monster except for a white highlight on the right side of him with white spots. You also might want to think about moving the edge of the composition up a little bit too, her rainbow seems dangerously close to the edge to me.
I like what you did with this piece I think that the solid black and white really helped too. My concern is that I would like to see the gun and the darts more defined and obvious when I look at it.
I really like the monster and its expression but (and maybe this is only because I'm looking at it so small) I'd like to see more detail put into the child. Maybe put him/her closer to the foreground so one could see them better.
This is great! some black would help the monster out, to make it more like a light is being shone on him from behind, It could be more dramatic that way.
This piece is more clear with the concept than the last assignment you did. Very cute and humorous. But the monster seems separate from the girl side. So I think you should add some more shadows on the monster's right side of the body.
The expression on the monster is really great. The image is also really humerus. However, i agree the monster could be rendered more using shapes of white and black than just line. I think if you lit him with the focus on the face it could add to the humor of the piece.
I feel like the monster is separated from the girl part just a little bit too much, if you would use more solid black shapes in the monster it would appeal more to the prompt and the viewer by bringing the piece together more
I think if you ended the light from the window at the left side of the bed or shortly after it, you would be able to define the silhouette of the monster with less line. Everything on the right side works well with shapes but the right side relies to heavily on line.
i think blacking out the moster except for some detail could be a good idea if executed correctly.the light source is nice and makes sense but it looks like some the the horizon line of the room is leaking into the monster. i like this perspective a lot better than the other sketch i think this piece has really improved.
i think this is an improvement from your last project but it kinda feels like a contour line drawing on the monster. you should try to use more blacks and whites in your monster to make him more believable. i like the whole right side of the piece.
Great suggestions overall, this piece is a great choice for the negative/positive assignment. It's true that you're relying too much on line - but apparently only in the monster half of your piece? You do a great job using shapes for the girl in her bed and the background, possibly because you're working looser and less particular about the details. Loosen up! Remove line as an option. Visualize the monster in black and white shapes and allow yourself to simplify.
Glad you went with this one. It's got a lot of power in the composition.
I think you could do more with the lines, though. That is a goopy, wet, tentacled monster. It could be a lot more oogy without being gross, and having some more line variation might help with that.
If I understand the assignment correctly, I think you may be relying too heavily on the lines for this piece. Did you happen to do this in pencil first? I think it would help if you planned it out first in pencil (with the black and white positive/negative shapes) if you haven't yet, because it looks like you went straight to ink from the original sketch.
ReplyDeleteThe idea is really humorous. I think you manipulated the shadows in the back really well. The light coming from window and shadows on the girl and the bed make sense. But I wish you could put more black shadow on the monster with details since it is the very front.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Smangirl(?). Maybe you could blacken out the whole monster except for a white highlight on the right side of him with white spots. You also might want to think about moving the edge of the composition up a little bit too, her rainbow seems dangerously close to the edge to me.
ReplyDeleteI like what you did with this piece I think that the solid black and white really helped too. My concern is that I would like to see the gun and the darts more defined and obvious when I look at it.
ReplyDeleteI really like the monster and its expression but (and maybe this is only because I'm looking at it so small) I'd like to see more detail put into the child. Maybe put him/her closer to the foreground so one could see them better.
ReplyDeleteThis is great! some black would help the monster out, to make it more like a light is being shone on him from behind, It could be more dramatic that way.
ReplyDeleteThis piece is more clear with the concept than the last assignment you did.
ReplyDeleteVery cute and humorous. But the monster seems separate from the girl side. So I think you should add some more shadows on the monster's right side of the body.
The expression on the monster is really great. The image is also really humerus. However, i agree the monster could be rendered more using shapes of white and black than just line. I think if you lit him with the focus on the face it could add to the humor of the piece.
ReplyDeleteI feel like the monster is separated from the girl part just a little bit too much, if you would use more solid black shapes in the monster it would appeal more to the prompt and the viewer by bringing the piece together more
ReplyDeleteThis is much more legible than your previous piece but deals a lot with line. On an unrelated note that child is clearly evil.
ReplyDeleteI think if you ended the light from the window at the left side of the bed or shortly after it, you would be able to define the silhouette of the monster with less line. Everything on the right side works well with shapes but the right side relies to heavily on line.
ReplyDeleteI really like this. Only suggestion is maybe some more line thickness on the monster.
ReplyDeletei think blacking out the moster except for some detail could be a good idea if executed correctly.the light source is nice and makes sense but it looks like some the the horizon line of the room is leaking into the monster. i like this perspective a lot better than the other sketch i think this piece has really improved.
ReplyDeletei think this is an improvement from your last project but it kinda feels like a contour line drawing on the monster. you should try to use more blacks and whites in your monster to make him more believable. i like the whole right side of the piece.
ReplyDeleteGreat suggestions overall, this piece is a great choice for the negative/positive assignment. It's true that you're relying too much on line - but apparently only in the monster half of your piece? You do a great job using shapes for the girl in her bed and the background, possibly because you're working looser and less particular about the details. Loosen up! Remove line as an option. Visualize the monster in black and white shapes and allow yourself to simplify.
ReplyDeleteGlad you went with this one. It's got a lot of power in the composition.
ReplyDeleteI think you could do more with the lines, though. That is a goopy, wet, tentacled monster. It could be a lot more oogy without being gross, and having some more line variation might help with that.
I like that girl's expression a lot.
The monster needs to be reduced down to some simpler black / white planes for sure. The setting is well done though, and the idea is pretty funny.
ReplyDeleteLiz-- these guys have got you covered here. They're right. The right half is good-- now go give that monster the love he deserves! *dana
ReplyDelete