I think the first image is very strong. I really can understand what's going on in the first two panels. The facial expressions are good. I think the last image could use some clarity to maybe better tell the story? What kind of medium did you plan to use on this? The first panel has a lot of value and contrast, but the other images seems more line oriented... so I guess just be consistent with the medium in the final.
i really like the first panel. The guyl who is smoking up though looks too realistic to justify cartoony eye brows. I think his persona is amplified well by his lanky figure and baggy clothes. I think we should be able to see what he is spraying water at in the middle panel. In the last panel, move the desk closer to the viewer, it looks like the guy is walking around it and it would make more sense if he was perpendicular to it
the first two images read together well but i'm not entirely sure how they relate to the last one. Your style though is very interesting and consistent.
The first panel is well drawn, but could be rendered more, I think. Actually, all of the panels could use more rendering. The people seem to be pretty flat.
Your style is really good, and I like the consistency of the character's face from panel to panel. The story is hard to read, though.
I agree with Jon, about the eyebrows, he's just a little bit to realistic for hose eyebrows, but your characters are very well developed,
there's a lot of white space in the background that looks untreated, make sure you do something about that. your last panel is also kind of hard to understand what is going on in.
i do enjoy your drawing of the car, and i can see the way you've laid out your composition across the three panels, however i wish it were laid out differently. i think the three don't hold ground as separate drawings as much as they could. i feel like it's confusing to break one panel into two smaller panels. it might work better to have the guy smoking in the first panel, the car and the gas spraying in the second, and him explaining the situation in the last panel.
i think the first two panels are stronger than the last because whats going on is more clear. it think over all everything is well drawn, especially in the first panel, you pulled that off great. i really like the car.
Like the other comments I agree the car is well drawn however i feel like its detail detracts from the character and story. i will admit I'm kind of lost as well.
Also, this has also already been said in a way but the first piece is successful at filling the page and beginning the story but the following ones have too much undressed space in my opinion.
You have a lot of good workable material, i think you just need a bit more in the way of story. I'm just not really getting how smoking a bowl lead to spraying gas leads to going to school/the principals office?
Your drawings are on point. I know what type of car that is, how that bowl would feel, the surprise in the gas post is great. Just where is it all going?
i think hes smoking a bowl in the first one by his body language but im confused with the last one. i like your attempt at showing two things at once in the first scene but if your going to do that in the first one i think it should carry that out in the others. shade a little darker or because of scanned just take up some contrast in PS before posting
The story is a little bit confusing (and difficult to see-I can't seem to enlarge it either). I don't really understand the narrative. The car is well done, but where is the entrance for the fuel that he is pumping, it doesn't seem to be on that part of the car. Is it not suppose to be? Alsom because the car is so detailed it makes the person seem off to me. I'm not sure. I also feel like the it needs some type of background for the center picture.
The girl is hitting a bowl, runs out of gas, tries to fill up her tank, but is too high. So she ends up dousing everything in gas and possible blowing up the car???? and them must tell her dad.
This is my best guess at a read. I feel like i would be a lot more sure of this if either the images were clickable or the drawings were more finished. The lack of any clear darks, make the drawings confusing and hard too decipher at such a small size.
I don't really know how to measure the narrative on this piece because i don't know how accurate my read is, so i guess that will be something you are going to have to answer yourself. I will be excited to see these in person and be able to truly measure their narrative quality.
Basically, I think your drawings are just too empty, of value and spacial content.
yeah you read it right, mitchell. theres an element to the story that i think im definitely going to change which i think will help the flow of the last two. hopefully that will make it a lot clearer in the end
I think the first image is very strong. I really can understand what's going on in the first two panels. The facial expressions are good. I think the last image could use some clarity to maybe better tell the story? What kind of medium did you plan to use on this? The first panel has a lot of value and contrast, but the other images seems more line oriented... so I guess just be consistent with the medium in the final.
ReplyDeletei really like the first panel. The guyl who is smoking up though looks too realistic to justify cartoony eye brows. I think his persona is amplified well by his lanky figure and baggy clothes. I think we should be able to see what he is spraying water at in the middle panel. In the last panel, move the desk closer to the viewer, it looks like the guy is walking around it and it would make more sense if he was perpendicular to it
ReplyDeleteI like the images, but its kind of hard to read as a story. the gas image could maybe use a background as well
ReplyDeletethe first two images read together well but i'm not entirely sure how they relate to the last one. Your style though is very interesting and consistent.
ReplyDeleteI don't really know what is going on but I like the style. I think the middle panel needs more information. What is he doing?
ReplyDeleteThe first panel is well drawn, but could be rendered more, I think. Actually, all of the panels could use more rendering. The people seem to be pretty flat.
ReplyDeleteYour style is really good, and I like the consistency of the character's face from panel to panel. The story is hard to read, though.
I agree with Jon, about the eyebrows, he's just a little bit to realistic for hose eyebrows, but your characters are very well developed,
ReplyDeletethere's a lot of white space in the background that looks untreated, make sure you do something about that. your last panel is also kind of hard to understand what is going on in.
i do enjoy your drawing of the car, and i can see the way you've laid out your composition across the three panels, however i wish it were laid out differently. i think the three don't hold ground as separate drawings as much as they could. i feel like it's confusing to break one panel into two smaller panels. it might work better to have the guy smoking in the first panel, the car and the gas spraying in the second, and him explaining the situation in the last panel.
ReplyDeletei think the first two panels are stronger than the last because whats going on is more clear. it think over all everything is well drawn, especially in the first panel, you pulled that off great. i really like the car.
ReplyDeleteLike the other comments I agree the car is well drawn however i feel like its detail detracts from the character and story. i will admit I'm kind of lost as well.
ReplyDeleteAlso, this has also already been said in a way but the first piece is successful at filling the page and beginning the story but the following ones have too much undressed space in my opinion.
You have a lot of good workable material, i think you just need a bit more in the way of story. I'm just not really getting how smoking a bowl lead to spraying gas leads to going to school/the principals office?
ReplyDeleteYour drawings are on point. I know what type of car that is, how that bowl would feel, the surprise in the gas post is great. Just where is it all going?
i think hes smoking a bowl in the first one by his body language but im confused with the last one. i like your attempt at showing two things at once in the first scene but if your going to do that in the first one i think it should carry that out in the others. shade a little darker or because of scanned just take up some contrast in PS before posting
ReplyDeleteThe story is a little bit confusing (and difficult to see-I can't seem to enlarge it either). I don't really understand the narrative. The car is well done, but where is the entrance for the fuel that he is pumping, it doesn't seem to be on that part of the car. Is it not suppose to be? Alsom because the car is so detailed it makes the person seem off to me. I'm not sure. I also feel like the it needs some type of background for the center picture.
ReplyDeleteI agree with everyone who was confused about how the last panel connects.
ReplyDeletealso, you could tell us more about the setting. there aren't even any pumps at the gas station.
you drew a nice landrover.
I hope that i am reading this correctly.
ReplyDeleteThe girl is hitting a bowl, runs out of gas, tries to fill up her tank, but is too high. So she ends up dousing everything in gas and possible blowing up the car???? and them must tell her dad.
This is my best guess at a read. I feel like i would be a lot more sure of this if either the images were clickable or the drawings were more finished. The lack of any clear darks, make the drawings confusing and hard too decipher at such a small size.
I don't really know how to measure the narrative on this piece because i don't know how accurate my read is, so i guess that will be something you are going to have to answer yourself. I will be excited to see these in person and be able to truly measure their narrative quality.
Basically, I think your drawings are just too empty, of value and spacial content.
yeah you read it right, mitchell. theres an element to the story that i think im definitely going to change which i think will help the flow of the last two. hopefully that will make it a lot clearer in the end
ReplyDelete