I know the back story of this, so this is kinda hilarious. The first two panels are strong. The facial expressions and body language says a lot. However, I think the last panel could use some more detail. Or at least better communicate that you broke your arm in that scene cause it seems kind of ambiguous in that image what's going on.
i kinda like that the trees in the background of the middle panel are blurry and undefined since the emphasis should be on your well-drawn characters. The thing is im not really sure about the narrative you're presenting. You might need more details in the middle piece to explain why the friend on the right is angry.
the stripes on the jacket really give that character some dimension. Also the movement created by their arms in the first panel is great and really strong compositionally. I agree with the others though that your last panel, which i feel like is the most important, has the least amount of detail and falls short in the story line i think. Its very empty and undefined, i think just going back and looking at that one a little more compositionally and as a narrative.
i like the facial expressions in the middle slide. I think the story could be a little more readable though. I dont understand exactly why the guy dies at the end
Wait, is this how you broke your arm? you said you fell down a hill in class and that one guy looks exactly like you. i recognized it immediatly. you really captured the communication between the two characters through their faces as well as their body gestures. the only thing i'm not sure of is how you fell down the hill. did your friend push you down? cause he looks pissed off in the second panel. Maybe you could show his arm reaching out to shove you or something to indicate that he knocked you down. other then that, this is great.
I think the last panel could have been drawn and rendered more, but other than that I think you captured the characters' expressions perfectly and it looks very realized. I'm having trouble reading the narrative, though. Good job, though!
That's funny! I don't think the we need to know why he's angry. I like the composition in the first two but the last panel needs more detail. Is that you and Steve?
very funny! but i think the last one could be a bit more developed like the first two panels. You also seem to have weird mysterious unclear, underdeveloped backgrounds that don't match the quality of your characters. So i would work on that a bit more.
overall very funny, but i think it would be a very different case if i didn't know you, or know that you broke your arm in real life. I think that this piece would not really be interesting to anyone out of our illustration class, or anyone that doesn't personally know you.
individually these sketches dont stand out like some of your other work does. So I suggest that with the color really go in and try to make it interesting universally.
the character's expressions are really well done, you can sense a lot of emotion in their conversation. the last drawing is hard to understand, however, it could use some more shading to define the space. also, i'm not sure what's happening in the background of the first panel?
the first panel is well rendered, its easy to see that theyre high 5ing. the characters in the second panel have great emotion, but im kind of confused about what happens in the third.
I like the expressions, you definitely caught your essence but watch your anatomy. In a couple places there are some weird things going on like the hand on the left-hand figure in the first piece. Also the sense of space on this figures feet is a little funky, it feels like they're on the same plane, try pushing the one back more so it doesn't look like he's crossing his legs. Lastly the middle image doesn't really convey you got up the hill, to be honest I didn't figure out the story till after reading the comments. I like how you took a personal approach to this project though.
The first two frames seem to make sense together, but I get confused as to what happened in the final frame. The expressions are great, but maybe some more attention to the backgrounds and the final scene? I like the placement of the trees in the middle image, but am a little confused about the background in the first, and would like to know more about what is going on the last.
I don't totally get what's going on here. Two dudes hanging out, then one laughs and it pisses off the other who beats him down and ends the friendship?
The one with glasses actually being you Alex, maybe it makes perfect sense as something that you experienced, but I'm not getting it. The fact that I know it's you it is a testament to your drawing capabilities, so way to go.
I again could use more light and dark, especially on the one at the bottom.
fix my hair in the second one lol just kidding. (but seriously the hair.)just make sure the background in the first one is consise and understanding.maybe zoom in a little farther in the second one so its just the two faces. i like it though i gather what happens and narration i think is clear
I'm sorry, but I'm really having a hard time reading this narrative. I think you have done a great job of rendering the figures and their emotions in the first two panels, but i can not attach the representation of either figure in the third panel.
I feel like this is a simple narrative, and that you have an understanding of what your trying to depict, but because the negative spaces are so sparse, i have a hard time placing the figures.
Treat the backgrounds and third panels the way you did the figures in the first two and i think you will be successful.
I know the back story of this, so this is kinda hilarious. The first two panels are strong. The facial expressions and body language says a lot. However, I think the last panel could use some more detail. Or at least better communicate that you broke your arm in that scene cause it seems kind of ambiguous in that image what's going on.
ReplyDeletei kinda like that the trees in the background of the middle panel are blurry and undefined since the emphasis should be on your well-drawn characters. The thing is im not really sure about the narrative you're presenting. You might need more details in the middle piece to explain why the friend on the right is angry.
ReplyDeletethe stripes on the jacket really give that character some dimension. Also the movement created by their arms in the first panel is great and really strong compositionally. I agree with the others though that your last panel, which i feel like is the most important, has the least amount of detail and falls short in the story line i think. Its very empty and undefined, i think just going back and looking at that one a little more compositionally and as a narrative.
ReplyDeletei like the facial expressions in the middle slide. I think the story could be a little more readable though. I dont understand exactly why the guy dies at the end
ReplyDeleteWait, is this how you broke your arm? you said you fell down a hill in class and that one guy looks exactly like you. i recognized it immediatly. you really captured the communication between the two characters through their faces as well as their body gestures. the only thing i'm not sure of is how you fell down the hill. did your friend push you down? cause he looks pissed off in the second panel. Maybe you could show his arm reaching out to shove you or something to indicate that he knocked you down.
ReplyDeleteother then that, this is great.
I think the last panel could have been drawn and rendered more, but other than that I think you captured the characters' expressions perfectly and it looks very realized. I'm having trouble reading the narrative, though. Good job, though!
ReplyDeleteThat's funny! I don't think the we need to know why he's angry. I like the composition in the first two but the last panel needs more detail. Is that you and Steve?
ReplyDeletevery funny! but i think the last one could be a bit more developed like the first two panels. You also seem to have weird mysterious unclear, underdeveloped backgrounds that don't match the quality of your characters. So i would work on that a bit more.
ReplyDeleteoverall very funny, but i think it would be a very different case if i didn't know you, or know that you broke your arm in real life. I think that this piece would not really be interesting to anyone out of our illustration class, or anyone that doesn't personally know you.
individually these sketches dont stand out like some of your other work does. So I suggest that with the color really go in and try to make it interesting universally.
the character's expressions are really well done, you can sense a lot of emotion in their conversation. the last drawing is hard to understand, however, it could use some more shading to define the space. also, i'm not sure what's happening in the background of the first panel?
ReplyDeletethe first panel is well rendered, its easy to see that theyre high 5ing. the characters in the second panel have great emotion, but im kind of confused about what happens in the third.
ReplyDeleteI like the expressions, you definitely caught your essence but watch your anatomy. In a couple places there are some weird things going on like the hand on the left-hand figure in the first piece. Also the sense of space on this figures feet is a little funky, it feels like they're on the same plane, try pushing the one back more so it doesn't look like he's crossing his legs. Lastly the middle image doesn't really convey you got up the hill, to be honest I didn't figure out the story till after reading the comments. I like how you took a personal approach to this project though.
ReplyDeleteThe first two frames seem to make sense together, but I get confused as to what happened in the final frame. The expressions are great, but maybe some more attention to the backgrounds and the final scene? I like the placement of the trees in the middle image, but am a little confused about the background in the first, and would like to know more about what is going on the last.
ReplyDeleteI don't totally get what's going on here. Two dudes hanging out, then one laughs and it pisses off the other who beats him down and ends the friendship?
ReplyDeleteThe one with glasses actually being you Alex, maybe it makes perfect sense as something that you experienced, but I'm not getting it. The fact that I know it's you it is a testament to your drawing capabilities, so way to go.
I again could use more light and dark, especially on the one at the bottom.
fix my hair in the second one lol just kidding. (but seriously the hair.)just make sure the background in the first one is consise and understanding.maybe zoom in a little farther in the second one so its just the two faces. i like it though i gather what happens and narration i think is clear
ReplyDeletesteve, I know I all kinds of fucked you up in the second one. I will fix it. I promise.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, but I'm really having a hard time reading this narrative. I think you have done a great job of rendering the figures and their emotions in the first two panels, but i can not attach the representation of either figure in the third panel.
ReplyDeleteI feel like this is a simple narrative, and that you have an understanding of what your trying to depict, but because the negative spaces are so sparse, i have a hard time placing the figures.
Treat the backgrounds and third panels the way you did the figures in the first two and i think you will be successful.