Sammy-- I love the story of this; its very simple and clear, so nicely done. I would, however think about a few of the details to make the images flow together better (for example, the pie tray should be in the shot in the 2nd image-- either in the window with a slice missing, or, and probably better, on the table ABOUT TO BE cut, instead of showing the pie slice). Think about these as still frames in a movie-- think excitement and editing. The characters look rushed and not as well thought out as they could be. You might want to go back to them and work on the character design a little more-- commit to a style and work both characters in the same fashion-- their legs and arms and heads and necks should all look like they function the way we expect them too (start with a real person and THEN modify). The space is hard to read too-- what room is this meant to be and are the stripes on the wall wallpaper or light or value? They're inconsistent, so choose one and do it the same throughout. If its meant to be wallpaper, you might want to reconsider, since it makes the image a little difficult to look at for too long... Look also at the perspective in the windowsill... The interior ledge seems a little extreme and slants too far down on the bottom-- again, even if its going to be a cartoon, it should still be based in reality. Id get strong reference and draw from that. Same with the table--- make sure that space reads as being wide and the window as being further away in the 2nd panel etc. The pie plate isnt reading as round as you'd like it to be.
Lastly, these are meant to be Final Sketches, which means all the details worked out and all the value laid in. I would add in ALL of the value in all of the images before you attempt color.
Sammy-- I love the story of this; its very simple and clear, so nicely done. I would, however think about a few of the details to make the images flow together better (for example, the pie tray should be in the shot in the 2nd image-- either in the window with a slice missing, or, and probably better, on the table ABOUT TO BE cut, instead of showing the pie slice). Think about these as still frames in a movie-- think excitement and editing.
ReplyDeleteThe characters look rushed and not as well thought out as they could be. You might want to go back to them and work on the character design a little more-- commit to a style and work both characters in the same fashion-- their legs and arms and heads and necks should all look like they function the way we expect them too (start with a real person and THEN modify).
The space is hard to read too-- what room is this meant to be and are the stripes on the wall wallpaper or light or value? They're inconsistent, so choose one and do it the same throughout. If its meant to be wallpaper, you might want to reconsider, since it makes the image a little difficult to look at for too long...
Look also at the perspective in the windowsill... The interior ledge seems a little extreme and slants too far down on the bottom-- again, even if its going to be a cartoon, it should still be based in reality. Id get strong reference and draw from that. Same with the table--- make sure that space reads as being wide and the window as being further away in the 2nd panel etc. The pie plate isnt reading as round as you'd like it to be.
Lastly, these are meant to be Final Sketches, which means all the details worked out and all the value laid in. I would add in ALL of the value in all of the images before you attempt color.